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Excerpt From Trolls, Bullies and You!

LIGHT SUCKERS

Toni Lynn Chinoy - 5/29/2010

All our problems start and end with energy!

Remember, this book is about YOU. How can YOU be more effective at managing Trolls and Bullies? Understanding you and how you may enable others to find your weak spots is essential to your reclamation of your power.

Most of us, particularly high performance types, want to be a star. Sometimes, it may be difficult to tell if you are being motivated by the need to be the star. Many of our driving needs are invisible to us, but the outcome of our drives may be the points in our lives creating the most friction.

Look at the sky some night when it is clear. Imagine that any one of the stars you see is somehow motivated and able to drain the energy out of the other stars near it.

To do so would make the aggressive star appear brighter. It would be by itself in its corner of the sky.

Suppose all the stars were somehow motivated and able to drain the energy from the stars in their vicinity. Star #1 would be draining the light from Star #2 and Star #2 would drain the light from Star #1.

It is not difficult to predict the outcome. Soon we would be looking at a dark, flat sky.

Left alone, the stars are a dynamic, blinking picture that gives us pleasure, joy and an ecosystem that has its own stability.

Now explore the energy of human interactions as if you could watch the flow of that energy.

Each person is driven by a need to be the brightest star in any interaction. We are often oblivious to our own neediness, which causes us to subconsciously attempt to drain energy from others. The result is an ongoing, endless competition which ultimately drains the energy from others on the planet, leaving us as flat and as lifeless as a dark sky!

(Have you ever participated in a highly competitive, highly destructive group of people? The overall effect is usually one of depleted, burned out energy rather than vitality.)

There is a word for this energy requirement which causes us to suck the vigor from each other. It is EGO. Each ego absorbs energy from other egos in its need to dominate. The actions are different, the outcome the same.

You are coming from a point of view. As long as you are looking at the world and interacting from your own point of view, you will be absorbing energy from others.

The bad news is that everyone is a light sucker at some time or another. It is just a matter of degree. Trolls are the worst, and bullies follow right in line.

The rest of this text is designed to offer you alternative ways to look at the situations which cause you to suck light. Knowing yourself will help you to ‘let go’ in those situations where you are triggering a reaction from one who is more ruthless and has less integrity than you.

Fixing the Trolls and the Bullies are not your responsibility. You are. Here are some consequences that you may be setting up in your own competitive need to be the star.

Results of taking energy from others:

1. They will feel you absorbing their energy and resent it.
2. They will instantly respond by trying to reverse the energy flow back to themselves.
3. Their response will cause you grief in the form of turf battles, sabotage and competition over issues that should be team efforts.
4. All of this absorption and exchange of energy happens at a subliminal level. If you even think it, they will feel it and respond. You must manage how you feel, not just what you do!

Summary: What you perceive about them and their actions is probably right. Don’t even try to explain to others, particularly Trolls, what you believe is happening. They will tell you and others that you are too emotional or over reactive.

Monitor your own behavior. In order to be in any conflict with a Troll or Bully, you may be attempting to suck their light to you. Become conscious of letting them have the light they seek so desperately and then read on.

This brief excerpt will give you a feeling for how this book digs under the issues surrounding bullies. While it is done with a light touch, you will find your perspective profoundly changed from each chapter in this short, but provocative book.

To securely purchase a copy of this book, go to amazon.com 

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Source: http://www.relationshiprenovations.com/  Talk-Too-Much-.html